You know that weird moment when you’re having a great time, everything was going great and then THAT guy opens his mouth. You see it coming from a mile away…that glint in his eyes, that smirk, that pointy finger…and then he speaks:
What an honor, he is a philosopher and fertility expert, all in one…lucky you.
Lecturing on hygiene
You, know he cares when he is more concerned about your crotch’s freshness than he is about his.
It’s ok if you’re tired
…coming from the guy that thinks turning his shirt inside out is doing the laundry.
Why don’t you just take something for the pain
…thank you Captain Obvious, you’re a life saver.
I’ve never seen it…therefor it doesn’t exist
…the moment when you realize the dude is Charles Xavier from the X-men.
How can you not want kids?
“I saw kids in pictures…they look fun”.
You have issues if you don’t want a relationship
… I mean, have you seen the movies, that’s how you woman.
A woman’s body is made for making children
It says so right on the warranty your parents get when they make you.
It’s all in your head
“…these are not the sexists you are looking for”.
I done it before, I know what I’m doing
It’s as easy as ABC, slap A, grope B, and pinch C.
Trust me, I’m a doctor
I’ve seen v*****’s before, I’m an expert.
You should take more personal responsibility
If you haven’t finished a SEAL survival course you were just asking for it.
You can’t get pregnant by accident
…storks don’t make mistakes.
Here’s your problem
…because what would we do if men weren’t all qualified therapists.
This is how things actually work
…trust me, I’ve seen youtube videos.
Are you sure about that?
Men, not the heroes we deserve, but the heroes we need.
It’s ok if you do it only once
How to be a woman 101: presented by a 30-year-old white dude.
So how do you pee if you have a tampon?
All the world’s collective knowledge is 3 clicks away, but the female anatomy is still a mystery for humanity.
Well that’s just because you don’t have children
You see there’s this exclusive club that meets every 9 months and that is the truth about the universe, dark energy and God are talked about…
Women are goddesses, not people
When you realize the dude knows our secrets that women are actually superior alien life forms that came to earth.