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Little White Fibs Parents Tell Their Kids

Little Lies Parents Tell Children to Set the On the Right Direction,
White Lies Parents Tell Kids to Get Them to Do Things,
Parents: It is Not White Lies but Alternate Truths,
Parent Getting Creative with Alternate Facts to Get Their Kids to Do Things,
What Little Lies Did Your Parents Tell You?,
Little Fibs Parent Tell To Explain Hard Reality to Their Kids,
White Lies or Alternate Facts? Parents Are “Liars”,
What Truth Did You Have To Bend To Get You Kids On The Right Direction?,
Bending the Truth to Get Kids Do the Right Thing

To tell the truth, sometimes telling your child a lie is more helpful than telling the truth. We are all guilty of bending the truth with lies…remember the Tooth Fairy and Santa Clause stories you’ve been telling your children. It helps keep the little ones on their best behavior.

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The critical and questioning young minds sometimes need a fib here and there to keep them in line. Telling alternative facts can however backfire on you. Imagine the disappointment on your child’s face when he discovers that you have been lying to him. I wouldn’t want to be you…ha-ha. “My mom is a liar.” Sorry folks. You are on your own if you are caught out fibbing. Check below some clever fibs that parents have told their children. Maybe you will get inspiration to lie better next time…

Make a little girl feel special…

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“I’ll put out a ladder on our lawn outside and every evening I’ll go up to the skies and put a moon there for you.” ~ The girl who was told this lie is an adult now. She says that every time she sees a moon she remembers her dad.
Encourage a kid to eat more veggies…

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“Mama used to put all candies in the open and told me to eat whenever. She would however hide the veggies and told me that I would only have them on special dinners. I actually asked for Brussels sprouts on my sixth birthday.”
Getting the lil’ one to shut up…

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“I was told that everyone had a max of 10,000 words per month and once you reach your limit, you could only speak after the next month has begun. Every time I was talkative, my dad would say, “careful now…you are on your 9000th word.” I would shut up immediately.”
When you don’t want to get your lil’ one a pet…

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“My dad told me that if I could water a special growing rock, I would get a dog when it stopped growing. I watered a rock every week, but dad would replace the rock with a bigger one when I was in school.”
When you want to encourage them to take a bath…

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“My parents told my brother and me that we used to have a third brother who turned into a mushroom for refusing to bathe…they even included him in our family albums.”
When you want the lil’ ones to eat something that they are not fond of…

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“We got out daughter to eat fish by telling her it is an Argentinian Chicken. It worked until grandma came visiting…”
When you do not want to buy ice-cream

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“Whenever you hear the ice-cream truck playing music, it means they ran out of ice-cream.”
When you want to tickle them…

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“My grandma told us that smelling each other’s farts made us stronger…it made it our worst Christmas…but her best Christmas.”
Get them to eat spinach…

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“My mom told me that eating spinach makes you as strong as Popeye such that I would lift a house. Every time I ate a few spoonful, she would rush me outside to lift the house and as I closed my eyes with effort, she would shout, “See…it moved. It moved.””
Getting them to work…

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“When I was little, my dad told me that toys grew under the weeds in our yard. I would work very hard on the yard and eventually one would show up. I believed him for a long time.”
Discouraging eating chocolates…

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“Our mother told us that brown M&M’s were for adults only and every time we encountered them, we gave them to her”.
Getting rid of nightmares…

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“As a kid I was interested in dinosaurs but would have problems falling asleep afraid that one would just appear. My mama told me that it is liquid vanilla that exploded and made them extinct and every time before bed, she would put a bottle of vanilla at the corners of my room saying that they would never go anywhere near vanilla.”
Getting the kids less bored during a long trip…

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“My grandpa told me that the easiest way to count the number of cows when the car is moving fast is to count the legs and then divide the total by 4.”
When you don’t want to buy coconuts…

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“Don’t go near those ones…they are bear eggs!”
When you don’t want children in your bedroom during…ahem…

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“Daddy was hanging a picture behind the door and we did not want you to open it and hit us.” How many times do you guys hang pictures behind the walls???
Getting her to eat spinach…

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“Daddy told me that if I ate spinach, I would grow hair on my chest just like Popeye. Imagine a small girl munching spinach like there is no tomorrow to grow chest on her hair…”
Discourage them from lying…

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“When my daughter was little I told her that if she lied a red spot would appear on her forehead and every time she was lying she would tell a lie she would unconsciously touch her forehead and I would know she was lying.”
Explaining where the babies come from…

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“Babies are bought from the hospital and mommy has to eat a lot and grow their tummies to prove they can afford raising another baby.”
Discouraging drinking coffee…

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“When I was 7, my dad told me that to buy coffee, I had to be 16. At 16, I went to the Starbucks I was so nervous afraid they would card me.
When you do not want to buy a toy…

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“These stores do not sell toy’s batteries replacements.”
Hiding your bad manners…

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“My dad told me that if I press a certain button on our TV’s remote control, it would explode. When I got older, I pressed the button only to discover he had saved a porn channel on the button.”
Sorry…they can always catch you fibbing…

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“When I was little, my mom helped me get over my fear of British bees saying that they don’t sting. Years later when we were visiting relatives in the UK, I told the same alternate truth to one of my little cousins and she said, “Who told you such stupid nonsense?”…mama…you did…ha-ha.
Getting them to stop crying…

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“The zoo keeper has just called me. He says that your crying is upsetting the animals.”
Keep the dead animals’ nightmare off their little heads…

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“The animals at the side of the road are taking a nap because the road is very hot.”
No French Fries…

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“We aren’t French. You cannot eat those McDonalds’ French Fries!”
Get some time off…

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“My dad told my brother and me that if we lay very still in the backyard for hours, the vultures would circle and then land to eat us. We would do that while our dad sat in the house drinking beer and watching TV.” ~ Well played old man…well played.
Encourage them to eat green beans…

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“If you eat a lot of green beans, you will become the Green PowerRanger when you are older.” Well, it never happened mom!
When you have no job…

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“Our dad never told us what he did for a living. Sometimes he would say “I paint the spots on the Dalmatian dogs. I got really good at the job that nowadays I am painting ladybirds.”
Awkward moments…

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“When I was in kindergarten, a girl told me what s** was. Unfortunately, she did not explain how you know you are done. Being a little girl, I told my mom that I knew what s** was but I did not know when you know you were done…my mom panicked and told me to set the kitchen timer. Well, I found out what it was in high school and now I understand that she couldn’t have blurted “after ejaculation”.”

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